When I found the second receipt for porn I knew that my husband could lie to me about it after I had extended love and grace to him for seven months, and I wanted to demonstrate to him how my heart felt. So I took an almost empty glass bottle, walked out to the patio in our backyard and smashed it on the concrete. It was an object lesson of sorts; a way to communicate how my heart felt.

But it made little impact on him. My glass-bottle-effort was right before our first of many intensives over two years ago. While he says that his groups and the intensives we have gone to have made a difference for him, he hasn’t grown any closer to me, or any closer to understanding how significantly his betrayal has impacted my life. My heart break came from the fact that he lied, but it also came because he believed I was making too big of a deal out of all of this. 

Are you a husband who is in recovery and well on your way to a new way of life, yet the connection between you and your wife is still missing even though you're doing every recovery thing that's been asked of you?

Announcing a weekly drop-in "God With Us Telephone Chapel" on Mondays at 9am PDT/10am MDT/11am CDT/Noon EDT. Marsha and Coach Jodi are joining in inviting you to join them for an hour on Monday mornings to explore the concept and possibility that God just might be available to be with us in our lives in a tangible, comforting, satisfying way. So if you want to explore the "What If" questions posed in Marsha's Easter newsletter, please join us for this one-hour no-cost, drop-in, interactive call to explore these concepts. We would love to talk to you there.

How real is God to you this Easter? Is he still on the cross in your mind? In the grave they buried him in two thousand years ago? Or did he really come back to life after three days in a tomb and is now in heaven preparing an eternal home for you?

Though we didn't plan this painful journey of betrayal and heartache, in our desperation for hope some of us encounter a living, loving, caring God as we grieve the losses of our husband's addiction and seek to heal and reorient ourselves and our lives. I remember so well the night I encountered him in an amazing new way. It was Christmas Eve 7+ years ago and I was sitting on a bed in southern Brazil.

As you may have read, I am spending this Christmas south of the equator, far from rainy Seattle and nearly all family and friends. I am in Brazil visiting a family member who makes his permanent home here, as well as writing, and taking a much needed break. What most of you don't know is that I took this break for several reasons, including an attempt to regain my health after a long battle with a chronic illness, and a time apart to heal my heart following the breakup of my marriage. Like many of you, this addiction has finally cost me the most important relationship in my life. Our divorce became final in October, just over eight weeks ago.

Okay, so what do you think you and the sex addict you love have in common—besides the home, bills, kids, and the life you share? Any ideas? No? Then we'll tell you because the answer is extremely important to both you and him. In fact, you could say it is nothing less than the Secret Ingredient for Healing and for Life.

The Secret Ingredient for Healing & for Life

Here it is in six little words: You are both powered by joy. And just as a battery-powered toy will not run with a dead battery, neither can a human being heal or live a reasonably happy life without joy. In fact, being human and wanting joy are inseparable. Our Creator made us with brains that want to operate with joy in charge.

Name:anonymous

I'll try to be succinct.  I've been married for 15 years to my husband and known about his sex addiction for 15 years.  About 4 years ago, I confronted my husband to let him "know that I know".  He came forward to tell me of his struggle.  He was shown porn at age 9 by his uncles.  He compulsively masturbates every day for the past 30 years.  Throughout the years, I've tolerated, forgave and continued with him because we have 4 small children. 

Name:Mandie
Last Name:
Essay Title:Shattered Heart