From Marsha Means ...

Dear Sister on this journey,

I am writing to share with you new research results that I suspect you, like me, have known in your gut all along. Since the first shattering moment you discovered your husband had a secret most of you have felt traumatized by that realization. Counselors, books (even mine,) and others may have labeled your fear and pain reactions as codependence, but you knew it was more than that.

I am happy—no, I am excited—to tell you that my friend and colleague Barb Steffans, PhD, LPCC, has published research results that now confirm what you’ve known all along. Not only have a huge percentage of us experienced trauma, many of us experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) on an ongoing basis because of the traumatizing impact sex addiction has had on our lives and our marriages.

Barb was so sure of this fact, though no one agreed with her, that she went back to school and got her doctoral degree so she would be able to confirm her belief with groundbreaking research.

And now she has. The evidence is in, the research is published, and her work is slowly beginning to make a difference. But Barb wants to make a BIG difference in the way partners are treated by professionals, church leaders, and others. And she wants to start doing that by writing a book to illuminate your experience.

I am humbled and excited to tell you that Barb has asked me to co-author that book with her, and we are now writing it.

“That’s great,” you may be thinking, “but why are you telling me all this?” Let me answer that question.

I am inviting you or any partner you know who struggles with what she believes may be trauma as a result of her husband’s sex addiction to participate in one of the band new support groups I now facilitate for partners. These groups are kept small, limiting the number of women in the process at any one time. We will meet weekly for 1½ hours via a telephone conference call. Though we will use the Partner’s Healing Journey  workbook for our process, the groups will include, for the first time, the trauma experience component added to each session as part of your healing journey.

While I am confident you will experience healing as a result of our time together, you will also be helping Barb and me as we write this important book. Your experiences, your opinions, and the things you share will educate us further about what partners need if we are to feel completely heard and understood, and if we are to reach complete healing.

The cost of each weekly group is $25 per 1½ hour session. I anticipate that the groups will last for approximately three months, but if you want or need more time I will be delighted to continue to meet with any of you who so desire. My heart is that you finally feel completely heard, completely understood, and that you finally have hope of healing the trauma results in your life so that you can move on unencumbered by that painful, heavy burden. Know that I understand, and I care.

Wishing you wholeness on the journey,
Marsha Means, M.A.